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Thursday, July 15, 20108:30 PM
 feeling very low right now, i dont know whats wrong i just feel sad, down. pathetic. negative -_-. i dont know whats wrong with me , i keep on smiling i keep on lying , im not looking for sympathy. im looking for a real friend. a friend who will always be there for each other. not im there for u but once its over we are total stranger. i've gone thru alot. no im not blaming anyone. but if we gonna end up like this . like a stranger, the why the fuck did God put me in that situation where i have to face life n death together all at the same time? someone said i save a life. but what about the life that was lost ? i couldn't save it ~ so what . u can say im greedy to save lives but why me ?! why do i have to be the one saving lifes ... im not being appreciated at all so what on earth was i doing there ? its okay if u dont apologize. dont bother to do so with intention of keeping my mouth shut . coz no matter what i will , but just to let you know im disappointed with u ! maybe one day, i will come to terms with that .. but for now i just want to be alone and forget what we had . forget everything that happen cause im soo messed up right now. no matter what the counsellor say i can never forgive myself for what is lost. i dont care if u WHOLE FAMILY dont blame. i just cant help but blame myself . for being so stupid and such a fool ! i just want to go away get away from reality and all . i cnt concentrate on whats important anymore. i dont want to be like this at all ! ' i think i'll go to Boston where no one knows my name ' - Augstana ; Boston - |
