Saturday, July 10, 20101:32 AM
What happen when ur mother
causes all ur heartache, knowing u're dying
and still stab u right into ur heart ?
what happen when ur own mother
wouldn't even admit that she is the main
cause of ur pain ?
the reason why i never attend school this week
is cause im tired. tired to live tired to do anything.
i stress out with school , im suffering ..
and yet im alone. no one else to depend on.
im soo depressed really,
today well technically , yesterday.
i felt really good, happiness, happiness that
i havent felt week long, but when i start
painting rainbow, my mom throw black paint
on them. i dont know, who to turn,
you werent there when i needed help
where were you, work, yes ! i forgot that
16 and i dont need parent, cause i can fucking
take care of myself right ?
as far as my teen years are concern,
my parent, i dont really have much memories of them
. no .
i'm sick of u , crying in front of the counsellor
and tell her/him that u tried to understand me.
how can u tried to understand me when all u did was
hurting me , and always not at home.
every single day, i see you less than an 1 hour. in fact
i dont think it hits 30 min. im in soo much pain.
im suffering from depression and i need support.
its okay if i dont have support from friends.
but the least i need , is a support from MY FAMILY
. but fuck, where IS my family.
ohh wait . do i even have one ?
i dont feel safe n secure in this family no more.
my own parent are causing me deeper into depression,
this house felt so unfamiliar. sometime i really wonder,
among my two dead siblings, why dint i join them ?
i want my sister to come into my dreams again
and tell me everything gonna be alright, again,
the last time she did that, it felt really good and i felt like as tho
i can do anything ,
honestly right now, i just want to die,
i want to take these pain away,
the agony is too much for me to handle ,
among all people. why u mother. why ?
i knew all a long u never trusted me,
just because everyone is like that. doesnt me im like that too,
i have strong morals , i know what im suppose to do ,
and what im not suppose to, but there u go , accusing me
as tho u are right. u are such a narrow minded person
i swear !
why me, among all my dead siblings WHY AM I HERE
SUFFERING !
jie, mei. seeing my like this, are u happy ?
whyy did u leave me alone to suffer !! WHY !
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