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Wednesday, August 18, 20101:34 AM
 tomorrow, she turn 37 .but she wont be able to celebrate it . last friday, while in school, i receive a msg, by my mom saying ' Kak, kakak Asrina dh meningal ' [ ur cuz passed away ] btw, this photo was taken earlier this year during tita's wedding we went to the hospital , i force my parent to let me go. she was so closed to me, she is my sister. i saw her for the last time. her eyes dint fully close, i thought it was a joke. a prank . i wanted her to wake up . i had to hold back my tears. i dont know why. perhaps i dont want her to see me sad & crying. but i still refuse to believe its her. for some reason the doctors dont allow her body to be brought home. so we have to buried her as soon as we are done with the rituals . i just dont believe it . i saw her earlier that week. haha. she said to me ' u cannot become a nurse. u very bad driver ' XD and that was the last time i saw her alive. while at the mortuary , they cover her everything. including her face. exposing only her eyes, we cant even kiss her on the forehead , to bid our last farewell, i was paying my very last respect to her. i saw her eyes. i couldn't believe it was her, even right now. as im blogging. it felt fake and is just a very very long bad bad dream i miss her alot. she always make fun of me. be it they way i dress or what i eat . the last bad ass joke she said to me . " mom , see , her cheeks getting fatter her eyes getting smaller " LOL and she always orders me around and i always complain how she is such a lazy bum . and every time i come over, she will always be lying on the couch watching tv, i will miss that for sure, the night she passed away i slept at aunts house . it felt different . quiet . too quiet . my only regret ? i dint get to repay her for all the smile and laughter she brings to me . why she have to go soo soon and soo sudden ? i actually wanted to blog about it a few days ago. i was just rotating the photo and i started crying cats and dogs -_- . ps. i love you kakak. Rest In Peace okay ? we will meet again . soon i promise :) |
