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Same Shits . Different Day .
Saturday, February 26, 20115:14 PM
 2/17/2011. He's officially leave us all . after battling with his illness. he is now free from all the pains. and tourture. and this was the last time i took a pic of him . when we visited him . he was off the oxygen . and then i suspected that it wont be long before he finally gonna leave us . u people may say " what the fuck is wrong with this bitch, hes finally off the oxygen and she still say he is gonna die " but before u guys start bullshiting , let me make myself clear. remember my cuzz who pass away . a couple months ago ? yeah. before she passed away , OUT OF THE BLUE, she got well .. that is a sign . to say her final words and wishes and stuff, but sadly i dint manage to visit her. and she died alone . but as for my grandfather. i manage to see him for the last time . hhaha he was asking for all sort of food. Rice, Kopi-O, Porridge. since the doctor said strictly No Food or Drink . we secertly give him a VERYY small amount of chicken porridge. so HIGH-larious . and he talk very clearly too .. and when i receive that phone call saying that hes gone . i seriously dont know what to think. i dump my breakfast , i told myself its a lie .. but my cousin was different . since she live with him for soo many years. ofcourse she will be attach right ? i feel bad for her , and for myself. ungrateful . i only visited him once in a while, and when he is sick . i remember apologizing to him , saying im sorry that i dint visit him so often , then crying . he was the best . he was so strong , a fighter . he never give up and even the doctor predicted that he wasnt gonna last long, but he prove them wrong. he prove us wrong. i wonder why the hell dint i inherit his fighting genes. im so weak . i break down easily. he fight with all his might for everything. we see him in pain. but all that cause he wanted to be with us just a little longer. from his death, i learn alot . my grandfather is the toughest man i ever knew. and i have to learn from him . the world is so cruel . but im not gonna back down to every problem i have. no more . if i ever breakdown again. i know im gonna let my granndfather down . on the day he was buried. i went home with dad, sis, and bro. dad took the Jln Selatar route. something in the sky got me so shocked. but happy. i saw my grandfather . with his 'kapas' ( those white wraps ) just like before he was burried. he was smiling ofcouse . and i told myself, he is a strong and good men. heaven is where he belongs and he is heading there . i miss you ah gong. sorry for not being there all the time. for being such a bad granddaughter . promise me u wont forget me. im your Yana Gemok . i promise i wont let u down . XOXO
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